Just Say It: Penis And Vagina

On the heels of yesterday’s post, I thought I’d address the issue of what names you call “private” body parts to your kids. I understand completely that everyone’s background and comfort level is different. It is natural to use nicknames to address body parts that you may not personally be comfortable addressing by the real medical name. I know what you’re thinking, ‘I don’t want to hear my three year old saying vagina.’ You may change your mind though when you hear that kids who know the correct anatomical terms are less likely to be sexually abused/assaulted than those who don’t. Consider it. The child predators generally bypass the articulate child who knows to call it a “penis and vagina” for another child who does not.  Unfortunately in today’s day and age, we need to do everything we can to protect our little ones. So reach outside your comfort level and teach them the correct anatomical terms. Now that you are on board, here are the simple explanations I give to a child.

Ladies first:

1. Vagina: It’s the middle hole where babies come out. I always teach little girls that they have three holes. The first is the pee hole, the second is the baby hole, and the third is the poop hole. As the child gets older, I expand the explanation to include where the blood for periods come out.
2. Uterus: The baby sac. I explain that when mommies are pregnant, the babies have their own special sac. The food goes in the stomach and babies go in the uterus.
3. Labia: The little lips or flaps around the vagina. When you’re bathing your daughter is a good time to teach her to carefully wash between the 2 labia (the majora and minora, meaning big and little).
4. Vulva: The whole outside area that the white lining part of your underwear touches.

I found practically that I had to teach my daughter this specific term because she kept calling everything her vagina. I wanted her to understand that the vagina was the inside and the vulva is the outside.

Gentlemen’s turn:

1. Penis: The body part where the pee comes out. The explanation changes as the child gets older. Clearly, as the child gets age appropriate your explanation will include that the penis is also a sexual organ.
2. Testicles: The 2 balls under the penis. Calling the testicles by the name balls is my exception to the rule. I think (now this is Dr. Wonnacott’s opinion only) simply calling them balls is completely acceptable, because you never want to set your kid up for ridicule and calling them testicles when balls is so widely accepted may do just that.
3. Scrotum: The sac that holds the balls.
4. Urethra: The hole where the pee comes out.

Again, as the child matures, it’s appropriate to expand the explanation to include where the semen comes out.

If you managed to read through the whole list without squirming, well done! (Just a note, my husband didn’t—he died a little inside). The key to teaching the uncomfortable topic is making it very matter of fact. The same way you would simply deliver the fact that your child has an arm or a nose, is how you’ll handle the fact that she has a vagina. The difference is that you may want to add your own further explanation about these being private body parts. Remind your child that we don’t really talk about them (which may help prevent the Kindergarten Cop, ‘Girls have a vagina and boys have a penis’ outbursts) and that no one should look there or touch there. Good luck, you can teach this!